My Mission
Attachment.coach
About Gretchen CostanzoAttachment and Relationship Coach
My mission is to help people build secure, life-giving relationships with themselves, God and others.
Gretchen Costanzo is an integrative attachment and relationship coach who helps adults understand the patterns shaping anxiety, conflict, emotional distance and repeating relationship cycles.
Her approach combines attachment-informed coaching, practical relationship tools, emotional awareness and faith-informed support when desired. The goal is not simply to understand the pattern, but to practice healthier communication, boundaries and secure connection.
Gretchen works with individual men and women and couples who want greater clarity, stronger self-trust and relationships that feel honest, emotionally safe and deeply connected.
Who Gretchen Supports
Attachment Coaching for Men, Women and Couples
Some clients come individually to understand relationship anxiety, people-pleasing, emotional withdrawal or self-doubt. Others come as a couple to strengthen communication, rebuild trust and create greater emotional safety.
- Men Seeking Clarity & Connection
- Women Ready to Break Old Patterns
- Couples Rebuilding Trust & Safety
A grounded, compassionate space to understand your story and create more secure connection.
Understanding the pattern creates space for a different response.
Your past can inform your story without determining what comes next.
Begin Where You Are
A more secure way of connecting can begin with one conversation.
Attachment Coaching Service Areas
Gretchen is based in Gig Harbor, Washington. Attachment and relationship coaching is available throughout the greater Puget Sound and nationwide online.
- Gig Harbor
- Port Orchard
- Poulsbo
- Seattle
- Silverdale
- Tacoma
- University Place
- Greater Puget Sound
- Nationwide Online
Additional Resources
Continue the Conversation Listen to Gretchen’s podcast interviews and deeper conversations.
These podcast appearances offer another way to hear Gretchen’s perspective on attachment, faith, emotional safety, relationship patterns and secure connection.
A meaningful next step for visitors who want to experience Gretchen’s coaching style before scheduling a conversation.
Healing, Attachment and Secure Connection
A conversation about understanding patterns and moving toward healing.
Hear Gretchen discuss relationship patterns, emotional healing and the process of building more secure connection.
- Attachment
- Healing
- Connection
Communication, Patterns and Emotional Safety
A deeper look at healthier communication and relationship connection.
Explore Gretchen’s perspective on communication, repeating patterns and creating greater emotional safety in relationships.
- Communication
- Relationships
- Emotional Safety
Attachment and Emotional Awareness Resources
How Attachment Might Show Up Emotions often communicate through behavior before we have words for what we are feeling.
Our attachment patterns can influence how we react when we feel afraid, rejected, misunderstood, disconnected or uncertain. These emotional-awareness resources can help you identify what may be happening beneath a reaction and begin responding with greater clarity, compassion and security.
The Emotion Behavior Wheel connects emotions with common behaviors and reactions. The Feelings Chart provides a broader vocabulary for naming emotional experiences more accurately.
What might an attachment response look like?
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Seeking repeated reassurance when connection feels uncertain.
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Becoming critical, reactive or defensive when feeling hurt or unseen.
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Withdrawing, shutting down or creating distance during emotionally intense moments.
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Reacting to an older relational wound as though it is happening again in the present.
Awareness is not about judging your reaction. It creates space to understand what the reaction may be protecting and choose a more secure response.
Try using these tools in three steps
- Identify the emotion closest to what you are experiencing.
- Notice the behavior, urge or reaction connected to that emotion.
- Pause before responding and consider what a more secure action could look like.
These resources are provided for education and personal reflection. They are not diagnostic assessments and are not substitutes for medical, psychological or mental health treatment.
Emotional Awareness Tool
Emotion Behavior Wheel
Explore how core emotions may appear through common reactions, behaviors and patterns.
Feelings Vocabulary Resource
Name What You Are Feeling
Use this expanded feelings chart to move beyond broad labels and describe your emotional experience more clearly.